So it tells me that my last post was in 2009. That's sad.
I'm not sure why I'm starting up again, but feel that I need an outlet, maybe some inspiration and a definite change. But as we know, change can be hard... life rolls so quickly and sometimes just trying to keep up is struggle enough. I think I have found myself here. So how do we re-grab control? I'll take suggestions if you have them!
It's been a rough couple years, but someone mentioned "character building" which made me start to think... was this all the master plan? To build me into a warrior? To make me stronger, or to break me down enough that I have to re-evaluate? I'm not going to pretend and say that I am enjoying this, because I'm not, but HOPEFULLY there will be a beneficial outcome, a solid purpose, that later in life I can look back and say it was all worth it.
As I'm heading into my last month of training before what will be my 9th Ironman Wisconsin, reflection is great. The past two years has been full of injuries, emotional chaos, moments of strength and success, breakdown, tears and smiles... I think when looking back, everyone would say they have experienced all of those things... so are our characters becoming stronger? The positive answer would be yes, as long as you continue to move forward. I need to learn how to move forward - because right now I feel I am on the pedestal of the American Gladiators jousting event, refusing to fall off, but definitely not winning the battle.
The good news is that I'm determined. I'll get through Ironman this year, even if the goal I want might be out of my reach. I'll put on the smile that is "me" that cheerleads on the world and everyone I encounter and I'll continue to fight, because at the end of this tunnel, there has to be a light. And I believe that light is going to be blinding, because when we struggle, I don't believe we struggle only to come out beaten. I am going to believe that we are "character building" and at the end we will come out with a shiny coat of armor, a superhero emblem on our chest and our heads held high.
But first, get through Ironman. Starting with this ride, I so greatly don't feel like doing.
Here's to all the budding warriors and superheros out there. I am going to be amazing and I feel bad for anyone that gives up on me before I get there. I'm going for the dream and I hope the cast that I want there, will be there in the end, because it's going to be fun.
